kujasangela ([info]kujasangela) wrote,
@ 2009-03-04 04:11:00
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OH CAPTAIN!


Get one of your own! by Drunken Hero

Stalking is illegal. kujasangela confronts kill_me_faster.

kill_me_faster is stalking kujasangela
kill_me_faster's REAL name :Jenifer Cooper
kill_me_faster's REAL DOB :18th November 1989
Height :157 cmWeight : 83.8 kg
kill_me_faster has dreamt about you : 20 times
kill_me_faster became interested in you : 27th August 2006
kill_me_faster's latest dream about you
kill_me_faster dreams that you are standing before them in a crowded train station, flailing your ass-naked body around the room. Just for them.
This is how kill_me_faster describes your relationship behind your back
'I think it likes me. They must like me otherwise they would have told me to fuck off surely? Perhaps it's just polite. Fuck please God, make her love me!'
kill_me_faster's been stealing stuff from your house too.
A thick ball of your own ungroomed pubic yarn.
They've even started modifying their body for you
kill_me_faster has kujasangela tattooed right across their chest.
They sent the following message to you in a Valentines
I'd do anything for you. I'd give you the world if I owned it. But all I own is a Volkswagen Polo and a couple of STD's.

The Police
No. calls to the police : 12 times
Your Last Call to The Police
"Hi, is that the police? This is kujasangela, could you send someone over quick, a mad fucker by the name of kill_me_faster is trying to knock my front door down with an axe."
kill_me_faster's Police File
kill_me_faster would be a nothing more than a loveable rogue if it were not for their love of samurai swords.

Testimonies about kill_me_faster
cephiedvariable - A deformed enuch
'kill_me_faster was always one of us. One of the gang. We never suspected anything. I'm really shocked..'
vampire_hitomi - Suicidal wreck
'Boring. I know kujasangela and kill_me_faster really love each other. They are both just seeking attention. Just get married and stop the fucking games already! Jesus!'
mr_cullen - Snorts Lucozade tablets
'I'm sure if you were to look up useless in the dictionary you would see a picture of kill_me_faster right beside the definition.'




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